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I’m saying this boldly and early: balance didn’t stay out of reach because your job was too demanding or your season was too hard. It stayed out of reach because it stayed an “it would be nice if” instead of becoming a real commitment. In this episode, I walk you through the exact mindset shift that separates women who want balance from women who actually create it — and why “if/then” thinking quietly keeps ambitious working moms stuck year after year. If you’re done wishing and ready to decide, this episode will hit home.
In this episode, we unpack:
The difference between hoping for work-life balance and committing to it
How “if/then” thinking sabotages boundaries, self-care, and follow-through
Real client examples of turning nice-to-have goals into non-negotiables
Why your calendar tells the truth about your priorities
How to create commitment that actually sticks — even when motivation fades
Your next steps:
The Daily Kickstart {free download}: www.ambitiousandbalanced.com/daily-kickstart
Book a work-life balance strategy call: www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced-call
Transcript
Intro
If you did not experience work-life balance in 2025, then this is a must-listen episode. And I'm going to say something bold right out of the gate. If you didn't experience work-life balance, it's not because of your job or because it was super demanding last year. It's not because you don't have enough help, and it's not because balance is impossible in this season of life.
It's because balance stayed a “it would be nice if” goal instead of an actual commitment.
In this episode, I'm breaking down the exact mindset difference between wanting balance and actually creating it, and why if-then thinking quietly keeps ambitious women stuck year after year after year.
If you're ready to stop wishing for balance and start deciding, then this episode is for you.
Are you ready? Let's get to it.
Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom, I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.
Hello, hello working moms. I'm so excited to be with you today. Before we get started, if you have been someone that has been listening to this podcast for a while now, but you haven't taken a few minutes to rate and review the podcast, would you do that right now?
It is such a joy for me to bring this podcast to you and to share my knowledge and experience and tips and strategies with you every single week. And I wanna see this podcast grow in 2026, where I double the listenership. And really, the only way to do that is with your support.
Podcasts that have more ratings are more likely to be suggested through the mysterious algorithms. And so would you please just take a moment and leave an honest rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts to get this into the hands of more moms just like you.
Thank you in advance. Truly, this continues to be one of my favorite things that I do every single week. I love it so much, and I'm grateful to be a part of your life this year.
All right, so let's get into this episode today.
The Women Who Made the Most Progress in Work-Life Balance
So I was thinking about the people that made the most progress in 2025 toward work-life balance and what really separated them from everyone else, right? And as I was thinking about this, I was able to really boil it down to something really, really simple that I wanna share with you today.
The people that experienced more work-life balance in 2025 and made the most progress towards sustainable habits were not the ones that have the easiest jobs or work less hours or have more help around the house. It's the ones that were committed.
It's the ones that didn't just hope work-life balance would happen for them last year. They're the ones that took action towards it. That's it.
The women who chose to take ownership over their work-life balance habits, like boundaries and proper prioritization and value-based decision-making, those women that decided it wouldn't just be a nice to have, but were committed and took full ownership over work-life balance, they're the ones that made the most progress.
It really is that simple.
When Work-Life Balance Is a Hope, Not a Commitment
I have countless conversations with women where we talk about work-life balance, and they talk about it like it's a hope, like a want, but not a commitment.
And it sounds sort of like this: I just, I hope that I can be more present this year. I hope that I can get back into a workout routine. It would be so nice if I didn't work as much in the evenings and weekends this year.
Notice that there's no actual commitment in these sort of hopes and dreams. And they're kind of stated more like it would be a nice to have, but not like a real committed goal.
So I want you to get really honest with yourself in this moment.
Learning How to Contain Work So You Can Be Present at Home
A big part of work-life balance is learning how to contain work, so that you're not constantly in work mode, and that way you're able to be more present with your family at the end of a work day. There's also time for yourself. There's time for your marriage. There's time for friends.
But when it comes down to actually following through with those boundaries and really cutting off work and prioritizing the things that matter, how often does it sound like this?
Well, if I can get everything done that needs to get done today, then I'll log off and stay off.
Or how often does your commitment to your health goals sort of sound like this?
If I can make it work tonight, then I'll get to that workout class.
Or how often does your commitment to intimacy and your marriage sound like, if I feel like it, then I will.
The “If-Then” Mindset That Keeps Balance Out of Reach
There's a common thread here. Do you hear it? It's called the if-then mindset. And if-then mindset is sort of a wishy-washy commitment that has qualifiers in it.
If I can get this done…
Then I'll take some time to spend with the kids.
Then I'll get to that workout class.
Then I'll get to sleep on time.
The if part is kind of the qualifier, followed by the result that you wish that you'd have. But if your desire for work-life balance sounded a lot like an if-then statement last year, then you didn't actually have any commitment towards that goal. It's as simple as that.
You're not gonna feel like working out later. You're not gonna want to put up that hard boundary between work and home. You're not gonna naturally feel like logging off and staying off. It doesn't work like that.
So if you want work-life balance to feel inevitable this year, you're gonna have to get out of that if-then mindset and feel commitment toward that goal.
Commitment Turns “Me Time” Into Something Real
Let me give you a few examples. So I had a client, she was actually on this podcast last year. Her name was Dana, and she was in one of my Ambitious and Balanced cohorts. And I remember we were talking about her prioritizing herself and prioritizing me time, right? Because that's one of the four essentials that I teach in the Ambitious and Balanced program.
And she said that she really wanted to have more time with her friends, and that since essentially becoming a mom, her friends have really dropped off the priority list. And she wanted to figure out how to go out for a glass of wine with her friends, or go see a concert with a friend, or go on a walk, or just have some sort of uninterrupted, lengthy conversation with her friends.
And so I coached her on being really committed to that goal, on figuring out exactly when she would need to make that time for her friends to actually get it on her calendar, and then learn how to follow through with that commitment no matter what.
And I actually just spoke with her not that long ago, and I can tell you she has been consistent with this time ever since we coached on it for like the last six to nine months.
When a “Nice to Have” Becomes a Real Commitment
Another client of mine that was in that same cohort, she loved to read, right? And she wasn't making any time for reading at all because life had kind of overtaken her. And she was so tired at the end of the day, she didn't feel like reading at that time.
And so she had treated reading in these last couple of years sort of like a nice to have, like if she could fit it in. But of course, what ended up happening is she never fit it in. And so she wasn't making time for reading.
So she had this kind of wishy-washy commitment to it, right? There was like this qualifier, if there was time, and if she felt awake enough, then she would. But of course, then she never actually seemed to find the time to read.
So I coached her on being committed, on figuring out exactly when she was going to pick up a book and read if it wasn't likely going to be in the evenings, and then put that commitment on her calendar and then learn how to stick to it no matter what.
And I could tell you, she read dozens of books last year because of that coaching and because she made a commitment to figuring out when it was gonna work for her. Which, by the way, it's like she ended up doing it between work and the time that her boys got home at the end of the day. That was like her 20 or 30 minutes that she would spend most days reading, and she got through a bunch of books reading that way.
Back-to-Back Meetings Are Not a Time Problem
Last example for you. I have a client right now who told me in our last session that she really, really wanted to figure out how to stop having back-to-back meetings all day because it was getting really hard for her to get all of her strategic work done when she was in meetings back-to-back all day, which was leading her to have to log back on later, which she was always exhausted during that time.
She sort of wanted to end this cycle, but she sort of said it to me like it would be a nice to have if she could figure it out. But that really wasn't commitment, right?
Commitment Starts With Deciding What You Want
And so as we were coaching together, I asked her, when do you want to take a break during the day? How many meetings are you willing to have in a row before you need a break? How much time do you need to set aside for your strategic work, right?
We got crystal clear on what that commitment was to herself, and how she wanted to manage her time, and how she wanted to manage these meetings. Then she blocked out her calendar while we were talking. And of course, we're gonna continue to work together on learning how to stick to that commitment.
In all three of these examples, do you hear what that commitment actually looked like? It looked like deciding what you want. In this case, it was when you were gonna see your friends, when you were gonna read a book, not having back-to-back meetings all day, deciding when that commitment would take place, and then putting it in your calendar.
Your Calendar Tells the Truth About Your Priorities
You can be an absolute stranger to me. Hand me your calendar, I can take a look at it and tell you what your priorities and commitments are because they are found right there in black and white.
What is in your calendar and what you schedule is what you are committed to.
So this year, you want to experience more work-life balance, but your calendar does not have an appointment in there for you, like for me time. If it doesn't have stopping points about when you're going to end work, if it doesn't have blocked out time for your family, if it doesn't have time set aside for you to do your strategic work each day, if it doesn't have time to where you are sitting and reflecting and evaluating progress towards these goals, then you're not really committed.
It's like a nice to have. It would be nice if it worked out, but it's not actually a commitment.
Work-Life Balance Won’t Happen If It’s Just a “Nice to Have”
Let me say this again. If you did not make progress towards your work-life balance goals in 2025, the key reason is that you were treating it as a nice to have, but not a commitment.
Let me ask you this. If you are committed to losing 20 pounds this year, like truly committed, what would I see on your calendar? Workouts. Personal training sessions with like a health coach. Maybe time to go on a run. Maybe nutritional classes to teach you how to eat cleaner and better, or maybe even a coaching program that you're a part of to help you meet that goal.
Losing 20 pounds isn't gonna happen magically, right? It's gonna require discipline and commitment towards eating better and exercising. And of course, that's going to be reflected on your calendar if you are committed to that goal.
And the same is true for work-life balance. The priorities that are associated to work-life balance must be a commitment, not a nice to have, if you wanna achieve more balance this year.
How to Turn a “Nice to Have” Into a Real Commitment
So here's my challenge to you. Pick one of it would be nice to have goals that you have related to work-life balance this year, and I bet you definitely have them, and I want you to turn it into a commitment.
Here's the thing about commitment. You can actually feel it in your body. It literally feels like this sense of urgency or drive to make something happen, right? There's like this deep down, almost grounded experience that you have with your goals that you feel committed to.
And you can create that commitment by simply sitting down and writing out why you want to achieve that goal. And I don't mean just once. I mean, maybe sitting down for 15 minutes or 30 minutes, or maybe even an hour, and writing down all of the reasons why you want to experience work-life balance this year.
So much so that you feel that deep down sense of commitment and urgency and motivation to make it all happen. Because commitment doesn't just happen to you. You create it by how you are thinking about your goals and your priorities.
So take a nice to have goal that you probably didn't even realize that was a nice to have goal this year, and I want you to flip it into a committed goal and start taking action to it.
Why Coaching Creates Real Commitment and Momentum
Look, the best way that I know in how to create commitment and momentum toward your goals is through coaching. Coaching creates natural accountability, where it's not just you trying to reach your goals on your own. It's with me. It's with a coach that is holding you accountable, that is holding space and a container for you to make progress towards those goals, even when you feel like you're not.
So if you haven't already, go ahead and reach out and schedule your free breakthrough call with me, which is really the first step to learning more about coaching. It's the first step to making a commitment, to saying out loud exactly what you want your goals to be and exactly what your vision is for the year, and then ultimately making a decision on if this is the right container for you to reach all of those goals this year.
I would love to speak with you and talk to you about your goals, your work-life balance goals, your career goals, whatever it is you are looking to achieve as a working mom this year. I am your coach, and I would love to speak with you.
To book that call, you can go to www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/book. You're gonna find that in the show notes as well.
If You Want to Achieve Your Goals, Commitment Is Required
But working moms, it's really simple. If you wanna achieve your goals this year, what's required is commitment. Not nice to haves. Not hopes. Not if you can squeeze it in or if you happen to feel motivated tonight, but actual commitment where you show up no matter what.
I can help you. Reach out, book that call, or until next week, let's get to it.
A Simple Daily Tool to Get Out of Overwhelm and Into Control
If you wake up most days spinning with a hundred different priorities vying for your attention, then the Daily Kickstart is exactly what you need. It's a simple six-step process that helps you get your thoughts out of your head, reset your mindset, and refocus on what actually matters.
It's designed to help shift you out of overwhelm and into calm, confident action before the chaos hits. This daily practice is the same tool I offer to all my clients, and it's going to show you exactly how to lead your day instead of react to it.
It takes just 10 minutes a day, and the impact will ripple through everything. Your mood. Your energy. Your presence with your kids. And how you lead at work.
My clients indicate time and time again that this tool was the one that made the biggest difference for them, and I'm offering it to you totally free. You can download it by going to www.ambitiousandbalanced.com/daily-kickstart. And of course, I'll have that for you in the show notes as well.
All right, working moms, let's get to it.
